Christmas gifts to charities

Conceptually, donating to a charity in someone's name has a lot going for it. Our country is centered around stuff. A popular question every year is: "What to get the person who has everything?" Many charities can do a lot with a little. And if someone wants to give an audiobible to a random Indian as their Christmas gift to me, go for it. See my latest Facebook re-share.

Here's my struggle with the idea. I got one of those gifts once. And try as I might to be thankful and see that the money is going for a good cause, I didn't feel much but disappointment. Here's why:

• It was one of the giver's favorite charities, but one I wasn't familiar with and/or excited about. I'm not saying at all that what they are doing wasn't good. I just didn't have any prior emotional connection with that specific work.
• The gift was the first gift from a particular individual, one who I cared deeply about. If this individual had given me a book I had already read, I would have re-read it. Or an ugly piece of art, I would have found a way to display it so it looks great.
• I felt invalidated, that now that I have attained a certain material status, that I lose the privilege of receiving.

Through all of this, there seems to be a confusion between giving and materialism. Christmas giving does have the unfortunate consequence of us having even more things that we don't really need, maybe even want. But let's not throw the baby out with the bathwater, people. Accumulation of stuff isn't the purpose of giving. The purpose of giving is providing a tangible way to show that you care about someone. If I give an extra $X to my favorite charity in your name, does that show that I care about you? Not really.

Can charity gifts for Christmas still work? Sure it can. Though, like any good giving, it will take some work. First, find out if the recipient is interested in receiving such a gift. Find what charity s/he is excited about. These can be done at any time during the year.

Perhaps even if they assented to the gift, and it is to a charity they are excited about, they have a small twinge of disappointment. Maybe that's a good thing, to get rid of selfishness. Particularly for those you are close to, I highly recommend that you give a small gift in addition to the charity gift. It could be something as simple as a couple hours service of something you are better at than they. Some token that tells them that, while this cause is important, you are also important. Yes, if we were perfect we wouldn't need that token gift. But that's not the world we live in.

What do you readers think? Have you received a charity-gift? How did it make you feel?